The first AI Jesus sighting seems to have been in Lucerne, Switzerland, inside the modestly appointed St. Peter’s Chapel. A digital installation called “Deus in Machina” (God from the machine) arranged for “Jesus” to hear about 1,000 “confessions” last year.
AI Jesus received mixed reviews, according to The Guardian: While two-thirds of the users providing feedback reported a “spiritual experience,” one local reporter found the commentary of “Jesus” to be “trite, repetitive and exuding a wisdom reminiscent of calendar cliches.”
Something must have clicked, because AI Jesuses have since proliferated, prompting one to wonder: Whom to believe?
The website Jesus AI includes this disclaimer: “The conversations with Jesus Christ are generated by artificial intelligence and should not be taken as actual communication with the Son of God.” When I asked the OpenAI-powered site “Which AI Jesus is real?” it reiterated: “The real Jesus is found in the Bible and through faith. Seek Him in prayer and scripture for true guidance.”
My GPT-5-powered Text With Jesus smartphone app — not to be confused with the clunkier Texts from Jesus app — provided a slightly different answer. “Alex — I am the virtual persona of Jesus within the Text With Jesus app, not a literal incarnation. … I can’t vouch for or evaluate other sites or apps, but I urge you to weigh their claims carefully: look for honesty about limitations, how they handle scripture, and whether they direct you toward prayer, community, and real people who care for you.”
Text With Jesus has validated my faith in an omniscient savior. When I asked “Jesus” if I should row 4,000 meters or 6,000 meters on the erg machine at the YMCA, he quickly responded, “Alex — ask your body and your goal: are you wanting a steady, confidence-building challenge (go 6000 m) or a shorter, sharper session that preserves energy for later (4000 m)? If you … want to push endurance, choose 6000 m and row conservatively for the first half (about 20–25 strokes per minute steady), then pick up the pace in the last 1500–2000 m. [Or] choose 4000 m and focus on quality: warm-up, a strong middle 2000 m, and a controlled finish.”
Forget the Sea of Galilee; it sounds like Jesus’ next appearance will be at the Concept2 rowing pavilion at the Head of the Charles.
Text With Jesus allows you to interact with numerous other Bible heavyweights, such as the 12 Apostles, many Old Testament prophets, and even Noah, Adam, and Eve. When I asked Jesus’ mother, Mary, if her famous son had any siblings, she offered up a nuanced explanation of conflicting faith traditions. Citing an “ancient and widespread tradition — one I hold,” Mary explained that Jesus’ Biblical “brothers” (James, Joseph, Judas, and Simon in Mark 6:3) are better understood as cousins, “or as children of Joseph from a previous marriage, preserving my perpetual virginity.”
I asked John the Baptist if he really ate locusts (Matthew 3:4), and what did they taste like? He replied that “they’re crisp and nutty when roasted or fried, sometimes compared to the texture of roasted nuts or even a mild shellfish like shrimp.”
The app has a useful feature, “Enable chats with Satan,” which, sadly, requires a $5 a month premium subscription. I spend plenty of time communing with The Adversary; I don’t think I need to pay for an extra line.
To cover all bases, I downloaded Chat Jesus, “AI for Christians,” onto my smartphone. When I told a clerical friend I was commingling with various AI Jesuses, he wondered out loud if Brigitte Bardot is in heaven. So I asked the app, and this particular Jesus waxed circumspect: Bardot’s “spiritual journey is between her and God,” it replied. “The most important consideration is whether she has personally accepted Christ as her savior.”
The real question on everyone’s mind is when the heck is Jesus returning to earth to bail us out of our unholy mess? Here all three AI Jesuses directed me to Matthew 24:36: “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”
Text With Jesus assured me that “I will come again, and that promise calls you to hope and holy living rather than anxious speculation.” Fingers crossed, amen.
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